Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
