everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
