He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
