The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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