I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
