I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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