The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
