Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
