it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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