Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
