Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
