im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
