If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
