69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
