Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
