She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
