With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
