Don't you send me to vm
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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