So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
