They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
