And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
