WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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