About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
