is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
