the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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