When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
