Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Alive.
So much puke
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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