biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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