he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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