this beer tastes like vomit already
The best revenge is premature balding
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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