i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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