I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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