Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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