Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
