I'm eating all of the evidence.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
