I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
