turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
