Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So many bounce houses so little time
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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