I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
sex in a hospital.. check
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
