I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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