We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
