a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
