im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
