Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We left the knife in your bed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
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