Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
