nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
