Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
