First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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