RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
