I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
