I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
