awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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