my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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