there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
